3 : bitter vs. trust

I never used to deal with bitterness toward God. How can I even type that out?

But I have. At several points, life has taken turns that have either been evil, slashing at hope, or disappointing.

I used to really value God's sovereignty.

Where did I veer off?

And now, coming back to that trust in God's sovereignty--because I really do like trusting His sovereignty--and I like it more than thinking everything's out of control and then blaming Him--coming back to that trust almost feels hypocritcal. Like I should have never let go, and now I've been bitter, and hm...

Maybe this is called repentance.

Forgive me, Lord, for not trusting You.
I've been wrong.

Christianity is a perspective by which we see the whole world, Chuck Colson has been reminding me in How Now Shall We Live. And that's reminded me that I haven't been living like a Christian.

And maybe that's where the phrase "practical atheist--living like God doesn't exist," that I heard twice the other month back to back and wondered where I was doing that, finally finds at least one application.

You can't be bitter and trust God at the same time.