34: the comedy of being earnest, part 1

Day 1: I get the e-mail in the morning.

userservices@eharmony.com      ______ wants to get to know you

(The actual e-mail subject line showed the name; it is hidden here for decency purposes.)

My immediate reaction was genuine excitement because I had seen this guy online before. This was just his first time "noticing" me.

I didn't reply that day. But by evening I found myself trying to figure out where we'd live (since he isn't local) after we were married.

Day 2: I'm worrying.

I mean, he wants a girl who is in touch with her emotional side (what kind of guy wants that?!). One of his favorite books and movies is Dear John. One of his best-life skills (chosen from an eHarmony list) is "Communicating my innermost thoughts and feelings." The questions he's sent me are ones about how much personal space I need, do I consider myself physically affectionate, and what marriage issue do I fear the most?

And I'm over here thinking of mildly freaking out. Because I'm not necessarily a romantic. Romantic surprises suffocate me; they make me feel pressured. I don't have an excessive appreciation of picnics or adoring gazes or creating perfect moments. I'm saving my first kiss for marriage and tend to think a mostly hands-off pre-engagement relationship is the best for me. Also, I'm more of a realist. Marriage isn't about the romance, and life isn't always romantic. So if his focus is on romance, I'm afraid he'll be disappointed because I am a real person.

I've read/listened to a lot about the differences between guys and girls and how wives can best communicate with their husbands. But if he's so communicative, then all that learning will be for naught, right? Recently I read a quote by Hudson Taylor:

"Learn to move man, through God, by prayer alone."

That's the kind of woman I want to one day be! But if I have a husband that can be moved by conversation, then where's the need to learn to move man by prayer?

And, well, such a guy seems too good for me! Too easy!

So just e-mail the guy! I'm thinking. But I'm also thinking I should sit on it for a week. But I'm also thinking that this isn't a marriage choice--I don't need to fast and pray about it. But I'm also thinking whether I can honestly enter an acquaintance with this fellow and be ready for it to lead to something more, in which case it does need prayer and a firm okay-ness.

Stay tuned for the continuing saga. Brought to you by online dating. *wink*