80: as life turns

I look around my room. It's a wreck. I'm sure all girls my age are supposed to be perfect housekeepers to prove what wonderful homemakers we would be if only "he" would notice, but I have found that all of my friends are horrid at neatness. Oh wait, they're all single too.

Anyway, part of the reason for the tornado-esque atmosphere in here is because next weekend I'm moving. Moving out of my single-girls house of 5 months and back home with my parents.

I've gotten rather fond of living on my own (with two other girls). It was so easy to move from home to on my own, and I got used to it rather fast. Now moving back home seems like the hard thing to do. But we ran out of housemates to split the rent after one of us headed to Ireland,  and so we're all going our own ways. I was home last night looking at my room, deciding whether to repaint, pulling down curtains that I never was particularly fond of anyway, weeding out more books, and figuring out if I could fit my new second-hand desk and overstuffed chair in there. My parents are offering to bend over backward to make the transition a good one.

All my online dating subscriptions have ended as well, though I keep getting e-mails about sales. The 70% off sales only apply if you want to buy a whole year's subscription, and I'm not ready to fling myself into it with all my heart.

The process of the last couple years of trying to figure out who I am so that I could personally know myself truly and then portray myself accurately online has brought me to an interesting conclusion. Namely, I am full of sin. If I only want to be the "real me" I will fall further into sin and my tastes will conform to that. And so, it is all right to put on Christ and want to be a better person than I naturally am.

In other news (or is it the same?), I  started working on my NaNoWriMo 2012 book again. It's a fiction book about an idealist homeschool girl who discovers that faith and love don't come that easy when life doesn't go according to plan. (Am I the only one learning how to deal with life not going according to plan? And I don't just mean romance.)

The epilogue/last chapter has a couple sentences that I want to remember now, before I finish writing the rest:

Except for characters in books and movies, most girls wander through life completely unaware of who they are going to end up with or how it’s going to work out or even if they are going to get to be married at all. The only one who sees the obvious thread intertwining throughout the two lives is He who already sees the end from the beginning.

Like an author, God sees the obvious thread going from beginning to end. It takes a huge amount of faith to walk blindly through life trusting Him to bring about whatever He has planned and trusting that what He does is good. But it looks better on the other side if we do walk it out.

Chau,

LadyM and her own set of distractions