99: proactive or waiting or remembering the big picture of hearing God's voice

On the Kindle app on my phone, I've been reading Kevin DeYoung's Just Do Something, alternative title being "How to make a decision without dreams, visions, fleeces, impressions, open doors, random Bible verses, casting lots, liver shivers, writing in the sky, etc."

I just got in the mail Debbie Maken's Getting Serious about Getting Married.

I've also been contemplating arranged marriage a lot lately.

Notice a theme?

Despite all the proactive stuff I've read (including The Surrendered Single by Laura Doyle and Get Married by Candace Watters), there is a part of me that still knows that God is in control. I don't know how much is my responsibility and how much is His. I tend to think my generation has been far too mystical and lackadaisical about marriage. I know I'm probably too picky for my own good (tho, as I like to say, how can I be picky when I haven't had that many guys to refuse?). But I also know that God has done good things in my life these unplanned single years of my 20's, whether it is because He planned them or because He works all things out for good.

It took til 26 to bring me to a point where I really had to grapple with my singleness. I always had, but this was different. It was more dealing with unfairness and whether God knew best and why He would withhold something good from me. It began a time of figuring out who I am standing on my own two feet without continuing to hold out for a husband and family to define me. I questioned how hard you should work to be caught and how much God cares about the explicit details of possible suitors (does he just want you to get married and not get hung up over different convictions). It began a time of reconciling myself to the possibility of not getting married. And living without that hope. Seeing that my life didn't have that definite end and changing my course accordingly. And yet not letting go of hope.

I guess God is still God and life is about His kingdom and you still have to have a close relationship with Him and hear His voice whether you proactively pursue marriage, whether you acquiesce to an arranged marriage situation (caring more about character than falling in love), or whether you are still waiting on God to bring it to pass.