161: arranged marriage

At the recent Homeschool Alumni reunion I went to, I kinda contradicted myself: "I still like arranged marriages," and then later, "oh, and just so you know, I'm not for arranged marriages anymore."

*facepalm*

But in my mind it does make sense, and since this is a blog about singleness and relationships, I figured I would clarify my stance on arranged marriages/marriages of convenience.

(#sohomeschooled)

To explain why this came up...

Last year at the reunion those in charge put together a survey to spark discussion. One of the questions must have been about our preferred means of making it to marriage because a handful of people actually clicked the option "Arranged Marriage." A handful meaning me and a few others.

(#YesWeWereHomeschooled)

This year we were reminiscing about that and that's around when I contradicted myself. To clarify, I'm against it logically and for it emotionally.

For a person like me, arranged marriage is an attempt to escape the discomfort of trying to figure out if the person I'm dating is a good fit for me (or to bypass the whole irrational crush thing and just get hitched). But as the Lord reminded me several months ago, what if He gives me a fellow with whom I can enjoy a beautiful courtship of being wooed and falling in love? I don't want to miss that. Also, just because someone's a great guy doesn't mean he's a great guy for you. Seriously. You need the dating process to figure that out.

On the other side though, in the land of make-believe, I think arranged marriages/marriages of convenience some of the most appealing, romantic love stories (think Hallmark's Love Comes Softly, The Magic of Ordinary Days, or Loving Leah). I can't help it! I like the idea of circumstances throwing you together and you slowly being drawn to each other. In real life, I'm guessing it might not be quite so romantic, or guaranteed. Maybe I'd end up with someone I would really regret...maybe it's not so easy to fall in love with someone you're stuck with...maybe I should stop wishing it would happen to me.

(#WhiteChristmasreference)

(#notallhomeschoolersarethisweird)

Check out my book reviews for Mary Connealy's Now & Forever and Fire & Ice for more fictional marriage of convenience stories. And then, who can read Elisabeth Elliot's Quest for Love and not remember that such things have worked in real life?