(I also listen to Mac Powell's "Southpaw" CD on the way home these days. I hope my future husband isn't anti country-sounding music! *sigh*)
In all my learning about marriage, one of the things I've learned, or at least have had poured into my unexperienced brain, is that wives need to let go more and trust their husbands more.
And (I think I got this from Created to be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl), it is okay to let your husband make mistakes.
In other words, wives shouldn't be controlling.
(Ok, before you stone me, I'm just parroting what I've heard and am now going to make application to us singles who are on this page.)
Well, I don't know how many of you have family or friends that you sometimes would love to take charge of and direct and make perfect because you, of course, have the objective wisdom to direct their life. I sound facetious, but, let's be honest, sometimes we really do have some great advice that if another person followed, well, they would hail us as the Great Wizard of Oz.
I found myself in that predicament a year or so ago. Desperately wanting to pour my advice into someone I loved so that their life could go so much smoother. I needed to. They needed to change, and I could help. Truly. I could have helped if they would have listened.
But, by God's grace, I decided to finally start trying to listen to all this marriage counsel I've heard and read. Instead of applying it to a husband (which I don't have and which, today, I am particularly missing having in any stage of preceding up to marriage), I would apply it to the female in my life I wanted to control. I would *deep breath* start backing off. And letting go. And not trying to wheedle my advice in (which could be interpreted as manipulating).
It's hard, folks!
But it's a skill us single-eze can practice now.
You know what I found? I found I HAD to resort to prayer. Because I knew change needed to occur, and since it wasn't in my hands, I had to turn to the One who COULD do something.
Do you believe God is a God of miracles?
I do.
Ok, fast-forward to this week. (No, I'm not going to give any amazing testimonies related to what I just said. Because doing right is not always about the immediate results in other people, but the results in us, and I am satisfied with that.) But, this week, well, end of last week, we found out at school that a major school-wide field trip had fallen through. Bummer. Except, some of us teachers were like Yay! We won't get behind now! Or maybe we can catch up in this and that because it's only a month and a week into school and we feel like we're hamsters on a wheel! Thus the attitude when we found out that a replacement field trip was being scheduled. Ok...well...and so the juggling in the brains began. What to do about this scenario....how to make it the least painful possible...how to get work done on that day.... We have a very teacher-friendly school, so when the announcement was made, teachers started responding, reacting, and giving their two cents. Finally, the admin in charge of the staff meeting said quietly, "Actually, the decision has already been made."
Oh.
That is the cue to accept authority.
I hear that that is hard for wives to do. (For women to do? Isn't that part of the curse?) To accept their husband's decision without going, "It's not going to work. I don't want to do this. Does he even know what he's doing? We should just---"
No. Stop, and accept it. It is out of your hands.
Honestly, we did not know if that field trip was going to be a big flop. I don't even think the person planning the field trip knew if it was going to be a big flop.
You know what?
It was marvelous! It was an amazing field trip. It went SO smoothly. It was educational, and we managed to tie it into our week's theme. The kids had fun. The picnic lunch tasted so good! No hiccups. (My kids even got work done before we left for the trip!)
Nice little bow to wrap this up: After we give our input and wise advice, let's try accepting that we CANNOT change other people or some situations, intentionally ask and trust God to work out the details, and then do our part to make it the least painful scenario possible. We might be surprised at what might happen!
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| Fish Hatchery field trip |
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