The thing is, we are all so different.
I am a single woman in her late 30s, who rents a room cheap from an old family friend, eats dinner almost every night at my parents' home, and spends time on Facebook in a singles' community and watches low-budget Christmas romance movies for fun.
I have a friend who lives in a rural area, rearing three boys with her husband, milking cows, feeding sheep, tending a garden, making homemade yogurt and soup and bread. She plays board games with her husband and reads thick history books for fun.
The comparison is stark. And it is so so so tempting to devalue myself and my life in the process.
Her life is real. Mine is fake. Her life is meaningful. Mine is "city girl" shallow.
My life is what it is because I have chosen to stay in the same town where I grew up, to pursue life here. I have chosen friends who are such quality, God-loving people, but who share similar interests as me. I would like to think my life is what it is because God has sovereignly directed me so far. I know that's been true as far as my job. I could still make different choices and change my life from what it is. And maybe He is calling me to some changes--our lives are not meant to be static, without any sanctifying growth. But I don't think I have heard Him call me to a dramatically different life than what I currently live. (Though maybe with less movies?) And the thing is, I would still take myself along to any circumstance I lived in.
Which leaves me with a choice. Do I accept my life as good in its place in His grand scheme of things?
That is so very difficult for me. To value my contribution. To be okay with the differences between me and a married friend. To not feel judged...by myself.
And to grapple with whether I do need to make any changes. Whether I even want to. Whether I should want to.
What about you? Do you compare yourself negatively to others, are you confident in your differences, or do others inspire you to improve?
I’ve looked at some couples and wondered for a brief moment, “Lord, they’ve got the theological depth of a teaspoon; they show up on Sundays and that’s it. Yet why have they been blessed with marriage and kids?”
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