50: on saying no

Fellows (my age) have sent me messages, and I've declined to reply. One time I even responded and told him I didn't think it would work out. But these were people I hadn't interacted with, and it was in an e-mail format. Very easy to say no and move on.

I just had to tell someone no via instant messenger, and that was harder.

Because he seemed to be a good guy. Really. But I just wasn't interested.

Maybe it was his pictures (reminiscent of the main character--a creep--in the BBC made-for-TV movie He Knew He Was Right). Maybe it was because I could tell his personality was milder than I prefer. Maybe it was because he was Reformed, and I'm not (ask the people in my church who are!). Actually, it was all of the above.

We had talked once before on instant messenger, which is when I discovered he was Reformed. We had a good conversation, and I found out he knew people I knew from when he debated for a year. By the end of the conversation, even though I had given him a chance, I knew I wasn't interested.

Tonight he IMed me again. Sometime soon, I was going to have to let him know, and I hoped he wouldn't force my hand, but I had a hunch he would.

The moment came when he asked if I wanted to continue the conversation on e-mail. I conveniently ignored it.

Then, at the end of the conversation, he asked again. I made an excuse. He countered. I had to tell him that I understood what he meant, but thanks, no.

We said goodbye.

*sigh*

I'm sure some of you are going what? you don't even know the guy, no biggie!

*sigh*

It's still hard for me to send that message of rejection.

Ah well, it's over now.