You know what I do when I'm stressed? I procrastinate. You know what I'm doing now?
Well, I'm not reading a school's Self-Study for an upcoming work-related trip. I'm not reading To Kill a Mockingbird which I'm supposed to have read before meeting up with some church ladies this Sunday. I'm not even writing for kids (vs. blogging).
I did limit my stress-eating to one thing of frozen yogurt and grapes. Weight Watchers frowns on the cheese in the fridge, and the frozen yogurt was supposed to last through this weekend of dog sitting. But I had enough points, and it was sooo gooood. :)
It's lonely dog sitting. Or perhaps I'm just in a mood. A mood to chat. A mood to procrastinate, lol. No, several days ago when I was dog sitting (which I rarely do, but I currently have a spate of dates through the rest of this school year), one of the first things I missed was having my mom around. Having another person around to talk with between things.
Writing helps.
If you're single, if you've ever liked a guy, have you ever thought, "Just ask me out! When are you going to?" I mean, this would have been anathema to my courtship soul. But those dating-is-a-bad-word days are gone, and sometimes I'm like JUST GIVE IT A CHANCE. I have yet for telepathy to work for me, but per my usual freak-out manner, it struck me the other day
WAIT
If someone (preferably someone I liked...because I did have a dream the other day about being pursued by someone who, while I don't not like, I wasn't like-liking)--where was I? If someone DID ask me out, and if that date led to another, and if a series of intentional meetings turned into an intentional relationship, and that intentional relationship for once in my lifetime (lol, get it?) culminated in marriage, then
I would never experience singleness again.
At least, not on this side of potential widowhood.
You're single when you're dating, but it's a different kind of singleness. It's not the same sitting on a couch on a Thursday night realizing you have no male to text. Ok, I take that back. I can think of a couple males I COULD text because #friends. And I have a female friend who I can text at all hours. But, girl friends or guy friends are not the same as someone who is investing in you.
And not having someone invested in you, and figuratively standing by to hear from you, makes you have to swallow that urge to lean on someone else and instead check your emotions before God. It's a positive thing.
Having a relationship with someone to whom you are mutually committed is a positive thing too.
Goodness, this procrastination thing is really going tangential.
My point was, hey, calm down, slow down, enjoy this time of NOT being in a relationship, because once you get that date, that might be the end of this season.
And then my friend astutely observed, uh, we've been in this season for YEARS. You've been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, taken all the selfies (my words, not hers). It is okay to go on to the next season of life.
Good point there.
Still. This is what is familiar. And I'm afraid I'll forget. I'm afraid I won't be able to minister well to other singles because this season will fade as much as other memories have.
Fear.
Why do so many things come down to fear?
If we could only pinpoint our fears and actually examine them, how much healthier would we be as a people?
Fear that I won't actually get this Self-Study read.
Fear that there's no way I'll finish To Kill a Mockingbird by Sunday.
Fear that I will continue not to write consistently, even though I really have tried this week to get back in the saddle.
Fear that I'm a lazy blob.
Look those fears in the face. And then speak truth and act intentionally.
Off to check Facebook, then I'll prioritize...
The book I'm listening to now after seeing the same author-FBers that posted about The Dating Charade post about it...and after clarifying that it was a novel, not a literal guidebook to Australia.
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