I am not alone. I am never alone. I always have One who listens to me. Not a mute god, a deaf god, a god made with human hands, but a God whose arm is not shortened, who hears His children, who acts on behalf of those who trust in Him.
It's comforting.
I'm lonely today. When I'm lonely, I'm tempted to do rash, bold things. Or to bury myself in worthless entertainment. Anything but pause and feel the hurt in the quietness of my room.
I used to be really good at stopping everything to wallow in my journal over what was going on internally. I avoid that now (to a fault) for my own emotional health's sake.
Still, if I stopped, if I listened, if I paused, I would know God's presence with me. Not changing just because I am, but not unresponsive either.
How does that relate to single life? Someday, Lord-willing, I'll have someone walking from that car with me. Someone who may interrupt the silence of the windy day with some trivial quip, or who will be so stone silent so that I don't know whether I am alone or in companionable silence. Someday, me and God will also include the third point of "him," because according to God, the two become one, so he'll play some part in how I relate to God. I'll have my own relationship with the Lord, but how I pray won't necessarily be from the solitude of only Him and me anymore.
I can't comprehend how that extra factor will change things. But I'm thankful that nothing can change the fact that God is there and I am His and no one can snatch me from His hands. Even if I marry and my husband turns unfaithful (Lord, please never!), nothing can change the fact that I am His and He is mine.
I hope that whoever the future "he" may be, he will be able to encourage me to seek God more, and be a finite spiritual rock, imitating the Rock of Ages.
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| yours truly, cuz we all could use a laugh |
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