One encouraging thing I can say is that singleness doesn't feel as "heavy" and hard at every stage of life--at least, for me it hasn't. (In case you're wondering, I'm about to turn 45 tomorrow.) I feel like right now the Lord is pouring His grace into my life, and I feel stable and happy with where He has me. But I haven't always felt that way, and I know that when I was your age, I tended to think about it a lot more because it suddenly "hit" me that the timetable of my life wasn't moving exactly how I'd thought it would. It has also been especially hard at times when a relationship I had hopes for didn't work out. So, I don't know if it will encourage you to know that you're in a particularly hard season in which to be single. Perhaps your singleness won't last like mine has, but if it should do so, I can honestly say that you won't always struggle with it to the same degree! That doesn't mean I no longer have a desire for marriage (I do), but just that singleness doesn't seem as painful and burdensome to me as it used to.
But to at least scratch the surface of the answer to your question, I think there are a couple really important lessons the Lord has taught me through those harder times. A big one for me has been gratitude. Having a thankful heart does wonders, not only for my relationship with the Lord, but also for my own emotional well-being. It's for our own good that He tells us "in everything give thanks." I find that when I make a conscious effort to notice and thank God for all the good things He is and does and gives me--even the little, everyday things like hearing a bird singing, or a beautiful sunset, or an unexpected free coffee, or help with a problem I was having--it sweetens my whole outlook on everything. It brings me true joy in having a heavenly Father who loves me and cares about my smallest needs. It makes me really LOVE Him. A couple of books that have helped me with this are "Choosing Gratitude" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. I'd recommend them if you have some spare reading time.
Another big thing is prayer--not just praying in general but the way I pray about singleness. I have done my share of "begging" God for marriage, and there really isn't anything wrong with that, because He does tell us to ask whatever we wish as long as we can honestly ask in Jesus' name (John 15). But I think there also needs to be a recognition when I pray that the will of God for my life might be different from my will. I need to pray with submission to whatever, and however, He answers. Jesus prayed this way in the garden--He asked God that the cup might pass from Him, and then He said, "Nevertheless, not my will, but Thine be done." When we pray with this spirit of submission, it enables us to rest in God's sovereignty. We're not insisting on our way or desperately maneuvering circumstances to try to get what we want. Everything is left in His hands. And those hands are utterly trustworthy, even when they wound us.
On the more practical side, I think it's good to develop close friendships with other women, both single and married, that you can talk to and pray with and fellowship with. Being friends with married women does lend a little perspective. From the single side of things, our vision can get a little skewed and we can think that marriage is our ticket to happiness and satisfaction in life. There certainly are happy marriages, and God intended marriage to be fulfilling and satisfying in many ways, but nothing can ultimately make us truly happy except God Himself. There is so much peace in submitting to that truth. On the other hand, I think solid friendships with other single women are important too, because it's good to be able to mutually encourage others who are in the same boat.
I reached a certain point where I realized I didn't (and maybe never would) have a family of my own to pour my life into, and it was kind of huge and devastating at the time. It was a genuine grief and a loss of what I'd always imagined my life to be like. But gradually God has helped me realize that there are other ways to glorify Him than having a family, and there are other things and people He might want me to pour my life into. Some wives and moms are so busy with their families that they might not have time to reach out to the needy woman down the street, or go on a mission trip, or minister to children in a Bible club. It has helped me to look for those opportunities. I Corinthians 7 has not always seemed like a helpful passage to me (especially when I was feeling sad about my single status), but the older I get, the more thankful I am for it. As one of my single friends put it, "It justifies our existence." If God has singleness for you for a little bit longer, or even a lot longer, He will enable you to use your singleness to serve Him in unique ways that a married person couldn't.
And one other thing is that He promises in our trials that He won't give us more than we can bear. (I Cor. 10:13) He will provide a "way of escape." For you, that might mean marriage pretty soon. Or it might mean extra grace--just what you need for each day--so that you'll be able to endure, grow stronger, and bring Him glory by the way you live as a single woman.
. . . All I have to give you is God's Word, but nothing else has ever helped and strengthened me like that has. . . . Keep looking to Jesus, and keep trusting!
Eileen
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