255: ONE ONE!

My great-niece texted me the other day. It was a video, followed by the words, "He won't stop saying that."

The video was of my 3 yr. old great-nephew bouncing on the couch singing, "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Genesis 1:1."

After babysitting him the last three days, I can testify that he does sing it multiple times a day.

The thing is, up until Wednesday, all he could say was 1:1. Then suddenly, the song I had been drilling into him for months clicked, and now he's so proud of himself as he unintelligibly sings the first verse of Holy Writ.

It absolutely made my day.

I am surprised that teaching a child about the Lord must happen so intentionally. Is it because there is something off about how I live my life that the gospel cannot be absorbed naturally? Is it because I see him so seldom? Or maybe it is for this reason that Deuteronomy 6:7 says explicitly "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up." It *must* be intentional. It must be in your face, as a sign on your hand, frontlets between your eyes, written on the doorposts of your house, and on your gates.

And as it intentionally comes out of the adult's mouth, the truth is re-examined and re-imprinted on the adult's heart: "beware lest you forget the LORD" (Deut. 6:12).

In The Return of the Prodigal Son, Henri J.M. Nouwen, talking about God's heart in the Luke 15 parables, says, "God not only offers forgiveness, reconciliation, and healing, but wants to lift up these gifts as a source of joy for all who witness them. .  . . God does not want to keep his joy to himself. He wants everyone to share in it. . . . God rejoices. Not because the problems of the world have been solved, not because all human pain and suffering have come to an end, nor because thousands of people have been converted and are now praising him for his goodness. No, God rejoices because one of his children who was lost has been found. What I am called to is to enter into that joy" (ch. 9).

So, even as my great-nephew drives his family crazy singing his memory verse over and over again, I rejoice that one little seed has been planted. May it, and the seeds following it, bring forth a harvest some day.

254: it's okay to feel that lack

I'm considering applying for a specific job position next year.

And I wish I could discuss the idea with a guy. (Not like a dad-guy, but, like, someone who is somewhat invested in my future...you knooooow.)

My latest writing project just got published.

And I'd like to share it with a guy.

But--

Sometimes in life there are times when we really want to share something with a significant other. And that just isn't possible.

Usually for me that happens when there is someone I'm getting to know, or am somewhat interested in, but the natural progression of our friendship hasn't quite arrived at the point of being able to share whatever it is I want to share.

It's aggravating.

You know what? That is okay. It is okay to not have a guy to share those things with. It is okay to feel that lack.

You can feel that missing piece and still be okay. We can still thrive.

Not because of girl power, or because God didn't say it wasn't good for man to be alone, but because God can and does provide all you need, and if you do not have someone right now, well...I have to believe you have enough until God provides a miracle to fill your need.

That's all.

253: my own little corner and a bit of an overview about life

I love my bedroom.

I love the Paris themed mini set of drawers on my desk where I keep my Flair pens and Sharpies. I love the dried rose that I think came from a singles event, though I could be wrong, and the mini Eiffel tower sitting on top. I love my Farmers' Market themed calendar against my aqua colored wall and the typography done by a college friend's sister that says "Beginnings are always messy" sitting on a bright yellow painted piece of plywood with a glittery pineapple ornament from the friend that hosted my Hawaii adventures last year sitting next to it. I love the random pieces of furniture that do not match but are my own style. I love that this year off I was finally able to learn to have a place for everything and put everything back in its place. It took 34 years for that skill to finally find residency in my psyche but here we are.

I love that even though I am living at home and between full time jobs, I feel settled. I feel settled spiritually, emotionally, physically. Not permanently glued, but less shifting sand, less up and down on the turbulent waters. Who knows what tomorrow will bring, right? But there's the blessed stability of having experienced enough of life and God to be a little less caught up by the uncertainty of the future.

The rug might be pulled out from me next week. And I still have so many questions about the future and the present. And I'm not satisfied with everything about how I live my life. But should we be? Shouldn't we always be striving for improvement?

But for now, I am happy, thankful, and wouldn't revoke this year at home in the least. I'm thankful for my 30s, even though, man, that big 40 just gets nearer.

Lord, that I might not just be settled and happy but that I may truly fulfill Your purpose for me and be willing to take any risk that that may require.

My writing job is going well too. I regularly write both fiction and non-fiction, which means I am always researching something new, or writing about something I'm listening to in an audio book. I love research! I love culling info into a small non-fiction piece that, hopefully, captivates the reader's interest. My writing boss says she loves my work--yay--so I keep plugging away until I hear otherwise.

Meanwhile I help my mom babysit my great-nephew twice a week. He's into trains. I don't think I mentioned it on here, but a couple years ago I was told an incoming student was big into trains. I ended up buying two train books--one the ULTIMATE train book with photos and info about all the trains in history, and the other an historical picture book about people heading west by train. Well, my student ended up changing his fandom to dragons, and the books sat there until I went and snagged them from my class library this year and brought them back home for my great-nephew to enjoy. It warms my heart so when he goes and grabs one of the train books from his little area in my room. I feel like my friend who's a boy-mom--I'm learning more about these mechanical things than I would ever have otherwise!

My great-niece and I have been spending time more regularly together. She's a hard nut to crack, but I think I'm finally enjoying her blessed insides, lol. Twice now she and I have served dinner at Salvation Army together. She is so brave (despite squeezing my hand as we pass homeless people) and so efficient and responsible in serving food! Twice now she has previewed my writing and made notes on which passages are boring and which are not. I needed the perspective of my target audience! And every time I pick her up from school she wants frozen yogurt! I think it's only going to get worse as the weather warms up. Unfortunately her great-aunt is an ice cream fanatic too!

My mom likes that I am not stressed out, that I am relaxed. And that I'm around. She likes the company.

I haven't done much major traveling because of my year off. I wash my car more by hand now, lol. I know that's kind of random to insert here, but it seemed like something I should do instead of always paying money to go through the drive-thru when I could save money by just exerting a little work and time. One of those homey chores I avoided until I had time this year to reevaluate.

And now I'm just scraping the bottom of the barrel for things to say. So, until next time I stop by, adieu.