8: who am I?

In thinking about the different fellows in my current dating website repoirtore (which isn't much, but more than 0 grants me license to think), I wonder "who am I?"

One fellow. Funny enough, I stereotyped him as a homeschool Baptist. Turns out that although he was homeschooled, he doesn't seem to be as gung-ho about it as myself and instead of being a traditional, hymn-singing, suit-wearing Baptist, he goes to a more popular church. Popular in the sense of, hm, well, it's called an emergent church. So on the liberal side of conservative, but I think it's still conservative from what I can tell.

Meanwhile, just started communication with a fellow who by all evidences is extremely conservative. Maybe not in "wear dresses only" and "sing only hymns," but more in his views about politics, movies, family. He seems to hold strong opinions, and he's much older than me (though within the 10 year bracket). I'm not sure if I even want this contact to go anywhere.

And so I consider who am I. Isn't that what the last few posts have been about? I must know who I am to present myself accurately. But who am I?

I am both the girl who taught her niece hymns from the Bob Jones University hymnal when I was homeschooling her and the girl who snuck out on the grass behind the dorms at Bob Jones University to sing outlawed worship songs.

I am the girl who loves learning philosophy and doesn't enjoy debating it.

I am the girl who can list three out of the 5 points of Tulip that she disagrees with and yet in the same breath say how I respect and sympathize with Reformed theology.

I am the girl who can be both pro-jeans and pro-skirts depending on who I last spent time with.

I am the girl who gets frustrated because if she has long hair, someone wants it short, if she considers cutting her hair, someone wants it long, if she wears cool clothes, she looks lovingly at girls who still wear jean skirts and if she wears conservative clothes she looks admiringly at girls who can pull off fashion.

Who loves Thor, the Avengers, the Hobbit, the Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe, and Dr. Who and who is still trying to decide if it's okay to watch movies with magic, because there's no way I'm watching Harry Potter or condoning it.

I'm the one who says it's okay if others drink, but gets pretty uncomfortable if someone drinks in front of her.

I am the girl who can't make up her mind, that's who I am. :)

And as I was trying to figure out who I am, and praying about it on the couch this eve, while singing, the one constant came to mind:

"His child and forever I am."

So my beliefs, convictions, preferences, likes/dislikes, choices may vary--sometimes I'm a chameleon. But. But. Consistently, I am God's. and I desire to follow Him. And I am striving to hear His voice. Like a dumb sheep, I am in His flock, and with the crook of his staff he pulls me off the cliffs and weedy places I head towards. But that is who I am. One of God's sheep, His child, His disciple.

That, oh confused girl, is who I am!

Good enough for guy to decide if he should continue getting to know me? Perhaps not. But it's at least a starting place for me. :)

For the quote that came to mind in anticipation of writing this post, see the post before this one. It's long but eloquent.