35: the comedy of being earnest, part 2

So why am I even considering this guy, you might ask? Well . . . he seems like a really good guy! He was saved from an early age and was actually mentored by other believers while growing up. He wants a girl who will communicate with him about what she's feeling and who will take the effort to get to know him. Even though he's a romantic, he enjoys talking about theology and philosophy and science. These are all assets in my book!

Day 3: I let it rest on the back burner.

By God's grace that is. I do worry a little about his ideal honeymoon--a year traveling the world. Because I tend to think it is better to spend the first year bonding in reality rather than bonding for a year in exotic locales and then coming home, coming down from the honeymoon, to have to learn to do real life together.

Day 4: Around 1 a.m. I almost got up and answered his 5 questions. But I decided I could wait til morning. Then I woke up stressed about other things and thought, "I don't need to add this to the rest!"

The novel that I'm reading has two characters who are supposed to be missionaries in Alaska but who are each motivated by something other than God's call. The sister is trying to atone for letting her father die; the brother is always comparing what he does to how his father (they're step-siblings) did it and finding himself wanting. It's frustrating seeing them go about their lives without dealing with these things first.

So I ask myself the probing question, why do you want this--a husband, kids? It's because I want that family life for myself, I think. Ok, (no apparent unresolved underlying motivations there) but you don't want that impatient desire to drive you, especially in the drawn-out process of finding someone and dating. No, of course not. But (and I thought this was brilliant, even though I've thought it many times before, courtesy of Boundless), I shouldn't not go after something I want simply because I want it. That would be absolutely silly. Unless, of course, it is sinful or unwise or God saying no.

After a couple days of pondering a guy, it can really become less about the actual, real person and more about your interpretation of who he is and examining yourself and holding your view of yourself up to the screen for comparison with what this stranger says he thinks he wants. The thought processes eventually have to stop being about any one or other person because, let's face it, I don't even know this guy. Oh, I've read his profile, and it might be detailed (or not), and, sheesh, I sure can start acting like I know him. But I don't. At some point I have to just reply and see what will be seen.

So I did.

Thank you for reading The Comedy of Being Earnest.
Brought to you by a true-blue emotional girl and her crazy thought processes.