48: practically speaking

This evening I hit a glitch in my latest online dating e-mail relationship. But, in some way I was glad because it gave me an opportunity (like I should need one?) of throwing myself back on God.

After my initial dread that I might have to tell the guy that this isn't going anywhere (which I think is perhaps my #1 relationship fear), my second thought was "Am I ever going to be able to find someone?"

I think sometimes I (and maybe those like me) put too much stock in the guy as being all in all. So that it isn't practical any more or more laid back, but ultra serious.

I'm trying to adjust my thinking so that I don't need to find Mr. Perfect but someone who will . . . fill the hole God created for a physical man to fill in my life. (Is it possible to have a hole that God designed for someone other than Himself to normally fill?)

My need is God, and I can live single. Every day I live in relationship with the One who has walked with me every day of my life, who has proven Himself faithful, who has not forgotten me in His work as matchmaker. I constantly need to put my trust back in Him. He is my all in all, He is my forever friend, I can live single (Did I really just say that? Who are you and what did you do with me?).

But, back to the practical side, God designed marriage, which isn't designed to be between me and an invisible, infinite being. It's just not. At least, not while I'm on earth. How God designed it, you've got to have a lovely girl and a loving man. And it becomes something beautiful that God smiles on.

God isn't threatened by marriage or physical affection or boy/girl love. That's HIS creation, His invention, how He made us. It wasn't even like a side institution. He actually made us to fit together like a puzzle. Because He wanted us to find each other and fit together like a puzzle, in His image.

So I don't have to either think a-guy-is-my-all-in-all or swing over to the Jesus-is-my-boyfriend side of the pendulum. It is okay for me to practically just want an in-the-flesh guy. Whether God provides that or not is up to Him.

(I guess this is my 8 months later response to what I wrote last September.)