See, ever since I went to the Homeschool Alumni Reunion, I've both gained a new readership and discovered that girls are reading my blog who I didn't know were.
Which brings with it a level of responsibility. I thought only about two people read my musings. And musings they are. Thoughts and formulations of thoughts.
One fellow read one of my posts and said, "you poor thing, you really need to meet someone already haha."
Slightly embarrassing!
But see, I've been reading this book Getting Serious about Getting Married, and it has clarified what I think I've already known. I want to be an advocate for marriage, and specifically in this time of my life, advocating young people pursuing marriage.
Funny, because if marriage inched my way I think I might freak!
Debbie Maken has so many good things to say in her book about the Bible and culture and generations past and Christianity past and Christianity present.
"My goal in writing this book is to resurrect this duty as found in Christian antiquity. Duties inform us of what is expected and affix our responsibilities. Thus duties also affix blame when they are spurned or grossly neglected. If the duty is once again touted with the same force as that expressed in classical Christianity, then those who are in a position to execute it (i.e., the men) are more likely than not to follow through. Instead of taking this duty to marry at a specific time as a personal affront and reminder of failure, let's embrace it and ask for a return to a Christian worldview that believed in this duty to marry and held responsible those who failed to execute it. The older order of things held far more promise for women, for it saw women as vulnerable, had compassion for them, and shamed men who abandoned their duty of timely marriage." (page 50)I have no desire to shame men anymore than I have a desire to shame women. But I do have this deep rooted desire to join Debbie Maken in resurrecting marriage as an expectation in the church, something to be encouraged beyond "Is there someone...? No? Well, just wait on the Lord." I always blush but am thankful when older women say they'll pray that God brings me someone! God did not design us to wait indefinitely for marriage. Nor did He ask us to. He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.
I can't rewrite what Debbie Maken wrote. You're just going to have to read it yourself.
But if I write too much about desiring marriage . . . I don't know. How can I apologize? Is it shameful to desire what God saw as the completion of the creation process?
Desires can be out of balance, true. And a blog devoted to this subject will look out of balance for sure. But I feel like someone needs to say what we're all thinking.
"The reason we feel a lack of wholeness is because God designed us to feel incomplete without a spouse. God himself called the state of singleness 'not good.' By being dissatisfied with singleness, we're simply agreeing with God!" --Debbie Maken, Getting Serious about Getting Married, p.24 (Isn't she bold??)
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