Has it been nearly two months? It has. What can one say? I am teaching three grades again (so far I'm not dying, by God's grace), I have a side writing job (yay for writing =ing moolah), my back is killing me while I sleep (so lots of making time for chiropractor appointments and exercise classes), and I'm on a no-sugar/dessert break for a month (and in that, I am dying).
Thus lie the pros and cons of my natural life.
No love life, but it is currently the three year anniversary of my last break up. Not that I haven't had heartbreaks since then, just nothing official to point at.
And spiritually? Well, this last week, not so great on my end of faithfulness, but I did learn something about a week and a half ago. I started praying "Lord, I trust You with _______" and "Lord, I lay _______ at the foot of the cross." Usually I constantly repeat, "Lord, help me do this and that and the other," which is actually very draining on me. A laundry list of all the areas where I need help can at times feel like reliving the burdens of the day, not unloading them. The alternate verbiage of "Lord, I trust You to _______" was a completely, utterly new way of praying for me. It actually felt like leaving the matter(s) in God's hands. I trust You to help me be gracious towards this person. I trust You to give me wisdom on how to help this student. It's leaving my sanctification in God's hands and, seemingly, having actual faith that He will accomplish it. The only problem was having to check myself when it started feeling like I had to say the magic words. Because, the few days that I did pray that way, there was noticeable improvement in my day.
And as for praying "Lord, I lay ____ at the foot of the cross," it was an alternate way of my normal, "Lord, please forgive me for this and that, and if that was sin, and for that stupidity"--spiraling into a slight haze of depression-esque-ness. Instead, laying those things at the foot of the cross, in my mind, was an, ok, this and that way that I messed up and sinned, I lay it before You at the cross (on which the blood of Christ has already made atonement for me). Finit. The end. *contented sigh*
So that's the latest with me.
P.S. The kids at school are memorizing 1 Jn. 2:1-8 this month. That means every day we sing that "He Himself is the propitiation for our sins." Talk about a very unique vocabulary word!
"Say to Him, 'Here, Lord, I give myself to you. I have tried in every way I could think of to manage myself and to make myself what I know I ought to be, but I have always failed. Now I give it up to you. Take complete possession of me. Work in me all the good pleasure of your will. Mold and fashion me into a vessel that seems good to you. I leave myself in your hands. I believe you will, according to your promise, make me into "a vessel unto honor, sanctified, and meet for the Master's use, and prepared unto every good work"' (2 Timothy 2:21)." --Hannah Whitall Smith
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