11: what you say says a lot about you

If you want to study humankind, make a profile on a dating website. You will not cease to be amazed.

For example, there is a "type" I have discovered: the old man hitting on the young girl who thinks his ultra-conservatism makes him eligible.

I have blogged elsewhere about the 60 something year old who was divorced and looking for a young Christian woman who wanted to have children. He also was anti-church. (And he e-mailed me.)

Now I have been added as a favorite by a 40 something year old who is looking for a helpmeet.

distraction: What 10 years ago would have attracted me to a man is now repellent to me. I think a lot of conservative, homeschooled girls feel this way. It's not that we don't agree with what the man is saying, but the fact that the man feels he has to say it generally infers a whole lot of garbage beneath the white-washed surface. What you choose to include in a profile says a lot about you.

Or rather, he wants a woman whose "determination and purpose in life is to be a HELPER to her husband as described and detailed in Proverbs 31." What would he like to do on a first date? "Whatever is acceptable to her father and edifying to his daughter." And, as could be expected, he does not like the word "date," but prefers "courtship."

Ok, so any homeschooled reader can immediately tell what camp he is in. He's in the patriarchal camp. And even me, a Dr. Who-loving, jeans-wearing, out-of-home working, degree-holding woman does not deride his position. I want to be a helpmeet to my husband. My parents have always been and will continue to be thoroughly involved in my relationships. And when I had a boyfriend, I totally felt uncomfortable saying the word "boyfriend." But the fact that this man felt he had to say these things, and the fact that he's, well, old, tells me he is following an extreme I do not adhere to. He's also divorced, which makes me wonder if he has a double standard for himself.

But the real clincher, if age didn't do it, is what being a Christian means to him:

"To first and foremost seek God and thus flee from false teachers and prophets, and their followers, the swine and the dogs that return to their mire and to eat of their own vomit, as described in 2 Peter 2."

And this is where we pull out all the stops.
Where the bets are called in.
Where the rubber meets the road.
Ie. major RED FLAG time.

Any man or woman, regardless of age and personal convictions, who defines his or her faith by their antagonism to Christ's bride has an extremely distorted perspective.

No matter what age the guy is or how cute he is or how similar you guys seem to be, if he is anti-church, my advice is to RUN. (Why? Because he thinks he's an authority unto himself. Besides many other reasons.)