285: footnote to "the fullest God wants for you"

I watch a reel of Full House--Jesse finding out that his wife Becky is pregnant--and oh goodness, I want to be them.

I remember that phrase: the fullest that God has for me. For me personally.

What if it's not.........

Hands raised. Soaking in the reality that a marriage relationship is something I may never have.

Like your life flashing before your eyes, because that is not who I ever wanted to be. I don't want it to stay this way for the rest of my life even if it is a good life.

The fullest God has for us--we literally have no idea if our whole future will change tomorrow or if it will stay the same. But, in His hands, it will be amazing.

That's living by faith.

284: the fullest God wants for you

On Monday at Bible study we read the classic Ephesians 2:10: For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.

I wondered what others thought: the good works God prepared for us, are those general or specific to individuals? I tend to think general, one or two people said specific. Either way, the verse started the topic rolling in my head. A catalyst for what was to come.

Later that week I was listening to the YWAM International Adventures book Bring Your Eyes and See by Steve and Marie Goode. In the book, they remembered a time when Marie felt God tell her that she could have your husband healed, get pregnant, and have a baby or they could have God’s maximum for their lives. It was their choice to make. They felt God give them that choice again later, to go back to Switzerland or to choose God’s maximum—their choice (from chapter 7: Right Appearing).

Around the same time, in the Kindle Unlimited book I was reading--Space, Time & the Shopkeeper--the main character encountered a similar choice. Excuse the sci-fi element, but the character had the choice whether to continue to be transported in her dreams to real places in real life where she could really help people, or to continue to live her normal life. She hears a Voice tell her, “I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do. I just want you to be the fullest I made you to be. I want you to be yourself. Not who you think you are or want to be, but who you truly are” (chapter 11, Decisions, Decisions).

Then this morning, I picked up the top book in a stack of singleness books I planned to widdle down, because goodness, I have so many books! Chapter 1, first page, quoted the back cover of Learning to Be a Woman by Kenneth G. Smith: “A woman becomes a woman when she becomes what God wants her to be.” Now, maybe this was intended to be a generic statement, but for me, it sounded like the third echo this week of the same message: God has a specific vision for what my life could be.

With God confirming the same type of message three times, I'm left with my hands open going, "Lord?"

What about you? Is God speaking something to you too these days?

Proverbs 3:6: “In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”

283: upwards this Easter

With two friends in the throes of new relationships and with Easter Sunday tomorrow–the day when families go to church together and ladies show off their new dresses while I’ll be going solo wearing something already in my closet, I’m going to need this reminder.

So much of our struggles center around earth and our lives here. And to an extent, that is good and natural. But we are called to something higher. We are called citizens of heaven, a kingdom not of this earth. So, while we live in the nature God created and feel the ebb and flow of emotions and desires innate to our physical, God-handmade bodies, we also need to circle back around and upwards to what is eternal.

The other day at a Passover seder, the worship leader closed us out with “Hymn of Heaven.” 

“There will be a day when all will bow before Him.”

That, sisters, is the grand finale of our time here on earth. The anticipated culmination our lives are heading for. (I feel like there’s a Latin word here I’m forgetting. Any ideas?)

“In the end, we'll see that it was worth it

When He returns to wipe away our tears”

Every year the locusts have eaten will turn into praise as we see, finally see, the One we’ve claimed faith in all these years.

“On that day…[we’ll] stand beside the heroes of the faith.”

We can’t forget that we belong to a whole host of faithful throughout generations, spread across continents and time eras, and representing every personality and idiosyncrasy possible. In Christ, we are members together, witnesses of the only true God, the One who loves us so much He was willing to sacrifice Himself to save our rebellious behinds.

Together we’ll sing, “Worthy is the Lamb who was slain.”

Because, single sisters, these momentary afflictions will be swallowed up in victory. Our eager waiting will find its blissful home in the presence of Jesus. All will be how it was supposed to be.

So, as we paddle through the waves of families this Easter Sunday, as we join family members and notice our own non-parenthood or non-spouseness, let’s circle back around and up to why we are here, what we are celebrating, the One who holds our eternal identity. May God give us grace to remember our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ.

And if just reading this makes you want to mope, Ize sowwy! I'm not trying to minimize singleness for you right now. Gurl, I've been surrounded with nonstop relationship talk all during my Easter break, and I literally have no prospects. Unless I want to spend $50 to get on Christian Mingle and read the message I was sent. Yeah no. Ok, maybe. I'm not currently severely struggling with singleness--thank God! But, the last thing I want to do is be a voice that says you need to suck it up and not feel anything tomorrow. At my church's Good Friday service yesterday, we heard a clip from a John Piper sermon about the suffering of God and all Jesus suffered for us. He suffered physical torture. I'm a soft American. I would rather go through some emotional anguish than physical pain. But so much of our brothers and sisters in Christ have suffered physically for Jesus. I guess it just brought some perspective. We need to figure out how to give ourselves grace when we are struggling with singleness and also not forget our heavenly citizenship at the same time.

282: online dating?

Every once in awhile, someone will ask me if I've done online dating. If you have ever read back into the early posts of this blog, you will know, yes, yes, I have. I don't do it now, though. Because how on earth can I decide whether to initiate a hi or respond to a smile to any of these guys based on a photo (that I may not even like) and sparse info?

But, you know, every once in awhile, I log back into my ChristianMingle account and browse for 20 minutes until I can't take it anymore and get off.

Tonight, however, when I logged in for my regular check-up, I found not only had the format of the site changed, but suddenly I had a whole list of matches, and several of them said they were "NEW." Whether they are new matches for me or new to the site, I don't know.

Dragon's Teeth rock formation in Maui

But I do know this:

There is nothing new about these matches. :-P

Oh, hello. I think I messaged you before. Or hearted you? You never replied.

Same with you. I know I favorited you.

Oh, and you. Yes, I actually went on a date with you (which I totally forgot until now). Well, it wasn't really a date, because I made it soooooo lowkey. But, you didn't want any more kids, and that was a dealbreaker for me. So, we faded out. Except, after talking with you, I began reconsidering if a guy not wanting any kids was truly a dealbreaker. It still is something I wonder about.

And you! Ah yes. We emailed quite extensively until you ghosted me. I was never ghosted before or after, but now that I know what ghosted means, your abrupt cessation of all communication definitely qualifies. It was a good, short-lived acquaintanceship though. I think well of Huntsville, Alabama, because of you.

Oh, howdy-doody, I met you in person at an event in Oregon a few years ago. You're cute, but as we didn't hit it off then, I have my doubts now. Or maybe I'm just too proud to offer myself up when you were interested in other girls on that trip.

And you, well, ha! Yes, I had a crush on you for a long time. But we've been around that mountain before, haven't we?

And there's the guy that's been on there for years. I can't remember why I've never made an effort for him (and I don't remember him ever messaging me), but if I opened his profile, I'd probably see why. (I looked. He goes to church "occasionally." Sigh. He is cute and local.)

All that to say, online dating is a tool that totally works for some people. The most I've ever gotten out of it is an innumerable host of friends I met because one guy asked me if I had heard of Homeschool Alumni and told me about a retreat they did up in Oregon. So, I may still be single, but I think I got my money's worth out of the deal in friendships, multiple travels, and a singles community. :)

In the words of my friend in response to today's matches, "Well, that's just so reassuring that, you know, our chances of meeting guys on ChristianMingle are still what they always were. Nothing. Nothing at all."

Lol, that's not a slam on ChristianMingle or other sites. Just how we feel when people ask if we've tried online dating.

P.S. There is one really cute "Bible teacher" guy on there that I've never seen before. But I can't message him until I pay $50 for a month's membership. #facepalm