Across Bloggerspace Topic: In Between
I broke the rules and wrote considerably longer than 5 minutes.
So I had decided what I was going to talk about for "In Between," ie. the first and only topic that came to mind.
I was going to share how by either my experience at a friend's wedding recently or by God answering my prayer to "either make me okay with being single right now or give me a husband," I think I might *cross fingers, knock on wood,* be at a place where I'm content. Gasp! I'm sorry, but that word, that word. It's the trophy earned by those spiritual girls out there who are busy teaching violin or taking photographs (no, I'm not singling out you, dear friend, truly!) and don't seem to mind that they are semi-permanently single (like so many other girls our age). Unlike those of us who are not living blissfully purpose-filled lives and go through a sighing/moaning phase every couple weeks or so.
But, I think I MAY have reached a rather pleasant in between phase. Not quite in the "give me a husband lest I die" phase anymore (ok, that was an exaggeration. I hope no guys read this) and not yet at Happily Ever After. And I'm thankful. Because even though "contentment" scares me -- I have this thought that once you give up the desire, you will never have a chance of gaining the said-desire -- it feels good to have a bit of the inner turmoil settle.
So that was longer than 5 minutes and now I want to go on for another 7 minutes talking about another, perhaps more real-to-me in between I'm experiencing.
You've taken the plunge. You've joined an online dating site.
Problem is (or not a problem?), you've always taken relationships very seriously. I mean, you've been looking at this guy for what? over six months before you decide to respond. And then you're like, I'm talking to a guy! I'm talking to a guy! on the inside.
After a couple of these, you decide that there's got to be a less emotional way of going about this.
So you sit back and try to be as casual as you can.
And then, craziness strikes. You decide to be the first to send a guy a message. But, not being a forward girl, you have no intention of it going anywhere, rather, he told a story on his profile, obviously looking for a reaction, and you send him a one-liner with a reaction. Courtesy. I like to know what people think of my profile too. You don't even consider it taking initiative at all. You would do the same thing in real life. Casual, remember?
And then from that little one-liner, he and you begin writing back and forth. But it's all cool. Because it's purely cordial. Making conversation as you would if you met someone at a get together in person.
And that goes on for awhile. Until...
You reach the "in between" phase.
Rather, I have.
See, we've kinda gotten past the plausibility of just making conversation out of curiosity about people in general. I mean, really, that can only be believable for so long when you meet on a dating site. But I really want to think that we're not scoping each other out, interrogating each other. I like to think that I'm not raising hopes and that we can build a friendship.
So I'm in between cordial conversation out of curiosity about people in general and something more. And this in between phase I don't like. Because it's a foggy place.
But, making the best out of an undefined aquaintanceship, I'm trying to just relax and enjoy myself.
P.S. I tried to upload some pics to break up the monotony, but to no avail.