238: what's been going on with me this summer

I thought I would share some of the thoughts of my heart and brain this last month! Nothing super organized, just what's been ping-ponging inside lately.

Abide. Fruit. Not of myself. Those have been the big ideas.

I'm kinda going through two studies this summer. #Fruited by Bethany and Bonnie of Teachers in the Word is all about the fruits of the Spirit. Teach Uplifted: Devotions for Teachers is more of an in-depth devotional based off of Hannah Whitall Smith's A Christian's Secret of a Happy Life. Amazingly enough (or not, cuz it's God), without my knowing so when I ordered them, both studies address the same topic: We can't bear fruit on our own. Which is soooooo what God was already leading me to after last school year.

Looking back on last school year, I think I was running on spiritual empty all year long. I struggled to fake the fruit of the Spirit and to force the flesh down.

I'm not saying I know this year will be any different. Except, oh Lord, please--

Here's the prayer from Teach Uplifted that I'm holding onto:

I felt drawn to Colossians this last week or so. I opened it up. Everything is about reckoning myself dead to sin and letting Christ live in me. Letting Him do it. The fruit of the Spirit is the fruit of Him. Being transformed is a passive (?) thing that I allow Him to do.

I hate the warped idea of kicking back and not making room in one's life for holiness. It's a pet peeve. As if grace is an excuse to say, "Whatever you did this week, it's okay, let it go." No, it's not okay.

"It would be very strange that what was previously the object of destroying vengeance should now become the object of toleration. Now that the penalty is removed, do you think it is possible that the unchangeable God has given up His aversion to sin so that ruined and redeemed man may now indulge, under the new arrangement, in that which under the old destroyed him?" (Dr. Chalmers, quoted in A Christian's Secret of a Happy Life, quoted in Teach Uplifted)

I love that quote. But simultaneously, what I think God is revealing to me this summer is that I cannot work to bear fruit in my own striving. I can submit myself to God. I can bring every worry back to Him in prayer. I can beseech Him. I can trust Him. I can trust Him to perform His work through me, but by the power of His Spirit.

(Or, as Hannah Whitall Smith would say, do we really think that He who delivered us from the consequence of sin will not also deliver us from the power of sin now?)

I sure hope it makes a difference this school year. I am holding on to faith that what I have entrusted to Him He will be faithful to complete.

Sounds kinda ridiculous to think otherwise because of course He is faithful and powerful enough to conquer my flesh and bear the miraculous fruit of the Spirit through me.

If I remind myself I am dead and walk in the Spirit.

I'm just starting to start to learn about everything I just wrote above. But those are the thoughts pinging in my head. :)