Tuesday, December 31, 2013

75: if we are faithless...

I could feel my soul drinking it up, subtly, softly.

Don't they say that is how it always is when you are going to teach a Bible lesson? God teaches you too.

I was preparing to teach Sunday School. A lesson about Jesus walking on water.

The summary statement on the assigned sheet of paper read, "Through this lesson, children will learn that there will be times in life when our faith is tested. Life will not always be easy, and we will need to let our faith in God help keep us afloat during the difficult times in our lives."

I have been utterly overwhelmed with my job. It isn't fun to feel like a failure week after week. To feel like no one really understands. To not know what to do and wish giving up was an option.

The memory verse was Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

I'm sure as I read that verse in preparation I thought, "I can't."

On Sunday morning I asked the children for prayer requests. As they gave them I heard myself reply, "Can you do that? Can you fix that? No. So we need God to do it."

I heard myself say that no one can strengthen us like Jesus. Parents and teachers can, but not like Jesus. Only God can read our thoughts, know our feelings, know exactly what we need. And have the power to do it.

I heard myself say that even though Peter lost faith in Jesus, looked out at the waves and began to sink, Jesus still caught him by the hand and lifted him up.

So I came home, and even though I had no faith that things would work out, definitely no faith that I could do all things, even through Him, not even any faith to pray and expect miracles to happen anymore, I quieted my soul and let Jesus know that I still believe in His power and am willing to have my hand caught by His as I am sinking, if He will.

One of my favorite verses:
"If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself."
2 Timothy 2:13

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