166: intentionality and information dump

"To everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under heaven" (Ecc 3:1)

I'm really feeling this in my life right now.

Last year I taught with a friend whose word for the year was "intentionality." She wanted to teach with intentionality. That was great for her. I was just enjoying my first year feeling like I might know what I'm doing.

But my Lord seems to have led me into a season the last few months of living intentionally. Who do I want to be? Not in the future, but now? How do I want to live? Not when I have a husband, but now? What are my ideals? And can I work to attain them?

Here's how that's been fleshing out for me.

I'm exercising three days a week. That's...unheard of. I'm doing Jazzercise, sometimes with a friend, sometimes on my own. And I'm paying top dollar for membership. Money is a great motivator.... So is the thought of being able to offer an active, healthy person to my future husband, if God so brings that about. And also, this is how I want to live. And instead of being conquered by my laziness, I'm finally feeling the satisfaction of living how I want to live, even as the muscles ache and the sweat drips down my neck.

I'm trying to keep my room neater. It's embarassing how much a single girl will let the one room of the house that she has sole jurisdiction over fall apart around her. I'm not sure why keeping a neat room has never been a priority. My parents are both very tidy people. Perhaps it's been a way to do my own thing. Perhaps it's been because I'd rather do other things instead. Perhaps I thought it impossible to take charge of this area of my life and so gave in to how I didn't mind living (aka messy). Now, don't get me wrong, as I type, my bed isn't even made, and it's 8:20pm. But I have been trying more, not for my mom's sake like I used to (sometimes walking by my room would start to drive her crazy), but because I want to start living neater now, as a single. It's an intentional choice. And I enjoy the satisfaction of actually accomplishing the pick-up that isn't always easy to do in my little over-stuffed room.

I'm trying to do better at controlling my sugar and media intake. I'm failing in the latter. And I'm only just beginning to have some success in the sugar department. Little steps. Dark chocolate doesn't count. Don't judge.

I'm trying to become the person I want to be, against the desires of the flesh.

In some areas, areas I know I will fall without help, I've sought accountability. And it has helped!

Insert clarification: I am not doing nothing with my life. I am an elementary teacher with a combination grades class. It's more than a job, it's my life. It's not like I'm bumming it at home, eating brownies on the floor of a cluttered room while watching back-to-back Hallmark movies.

At least not during the school day.

In the last week I've applied for a graduate program through Liberty University. I filled out the application 3 years ago, and it went inactive from lack of follow-thru (and funds). But now I've reapplied, registered, and am about to do "financial check-in." It's finally the season to start clumping down the cash to move myself forward career-wise. I don't know, maybe the man of my dreams will propose and I'll be married before two classes are even out of the way. But I'm not being held back by my hopes for marriage anymore. Unless God directs me to wait, to not spend the money and take the class, I will be taking my first class for a Master of Arts in Teaching starting the 21st of this month. Craziness.

I'll admit, part of the motivation is so when people ask what's going on in my life, I can actually sound like I'm moving forward in some area. But I also need this degree to have better job-opportunities in the future. I'm excited to learn the content, and I've been planning on going back for a Masters since I graduated in 2009. So this is really an intentional step in fulfilling my dream.

The one area that I am not being intentional in is finding a guy. I am not doing online dating. And there's absolutely no logical reason! (Well, except that I'm not sure that's the best venue for me.) I am completely in favor of online dating. But I have no peace from the Lord that I should do so now in this season. I have no peace even to Facebook message a guy I'm interested in getting to know. Do I think that would be wrong? Not at all. But to everything there is a season. And I know today is not that season.

So that's what's been going on with me. Got to put it all out on the Internet, right? *wry grin*

Well, maybe not everything.

Incoming Selfie Alert....

There we go.