91: don't let go of your surrender

Tip of the evening: Don't watch a sappy Hallmark chick flick late at night.

I've been processing a lot this year. And I've learned something about myself, that I kinda knew before, and that's kinda embarrassing, ie. I take a long time to process and learn and grow. One of those, oh, I was saying the exact same thing last year? And I'm still saying it now because I haven't mastered this yet?

Actually, I was encouraged. I read a journal entry from a year and a half ago, and I found I had actually grown in that area. :-P Only a year and a half later!

Then sometimes I read what I write and go, wow, that was amazing. Why don't I say the same things now?

Anyway . . . sappy romance movie. About twue love. And of course, what does that make us single girls want? Twue love. :-P

But, to rehash a year plus of rambling on this blog, a guy that loves me and whom I love back is only a wish. It is not a promise. Or a right. Or a necessity (tho sometimes I wonder, since it was part of the creation plan). Because, as a friend so wonderfully and unintentionally reminded me a couple months ago, life is not about that--marriage, having kids, etc.--it's about glorifying God.

It takes a marked amount of surrender to say that and mean it. So if you can say it now, let me warn you, do not let go of that surrender. It is so valuable. You need it to be the person you want to be--a girl who wholly follows God.

Let your desires be desires and not demands. And then you can feel the pain of loneliness without having it destroy you.

"'You are My witnesses,' says the LORD" (Isaiah 43:10).