95: figure of speech

Sometimes I suspect that God isn't going to give me what I want. That perturbs me because, well, better is a bird in the hand than two in the bush. Sure I don't really have anything in my  hand, but I've got a good idea of what should be in there, and it's lovely and shimmery and fills my stomach with happy feelings. But when I look up and see that bush, and, what? is that a slight movement? I peek across my closed fist and my curiosity is aroused. Maybe there's something fantastic and amazing hidden but planned for me. But then I fret. What if it's, like, a gift that I have to grow into. You know, the bike that is just a little big for you now but you'll grow into it? What if it's beyond my comfort zone, and, as I imagine what it could be, Lord, I don't know if I want that--. Yet, if He gives me something a little too big for me to handle, He will handle it for me because it will be a God-sized future.

Is He going to give me the bird in the hand or the two in the bush? I don't know. Why does God like surprises so much???

"Prayer is request. The essence of request, as distinct from compulsion, is that it may or may not be granted. And if an infinitely wise being listens to the requests of finite and foolish creatures, of course He will sometimes grant and sometimes refuse them." -C.S. Lewis, as quoted in Laura Story's devotional What If Your Blessings Come Through Raindrops?

Grauman's Chinese Theatre, taken when I finally went to Hollywood last week (only lived in California all my life)