4 : just be yourself

"We often have lofty demands for suitors (well, not that lofty – just that they have Jim Elliot’s heart, C. S. Lewis’s mind, William Wallace’s courage, Clark Gable’s face, Cary Grant’s clothes, Josh Groban’s voice…), but we want them to love us just the way we are. [. . .] Janey apparently hopes that her paragon of glowing character and accomplishments won’t mind that she is (apparently) shallow and materialistic, has qualities buried so deep there’s no danger of anyone ever finding them, is not-quite-sold-out for Christ herself… and is not interested in changing."--VisionaryDaughters

 

~*~

 

A friend and I were talking the other day about ourselves. I told her that I do things out of insecurity. She confessed to being very insecure too, which kinda surprised me. "But then every guy wants a girl who is confident," I said in exasperation. I've been on these dating sites. Guys want girls who are confident, know their own minds, etc. etc. "Some guy's got to want a girl who's not!" ("Like me, like normal girls," was my inference.) "Do guys really want that?" she asked. "I don't know," I replied. She then philosophized, "I think the key is just being yourself."

 

I had heard that before. In relationships, in writing.

 

So what does it mean to "be yourself?"

 

Because every once in awhile you run across a person that you wish would stop being himself. Sometimes "being yourself" should be constrained by self-control and social mores.

 

Perhaps to truly be yourself is to be confident enough in yourself that you don't live every conversation trying to laugh at the right moment, agree on topics, look graceful when you can't. To be comfortable in your own skin.

 

Ugh, that.

 

And to my immense comfort, my friend concluded, "I'm still struggling with that."

 

So thankful I'm not the only one. :)