Saturday, March 30, 2013

21: heart blockade

An ol' homeschool friend shared an odd article a month or so ago on Facebook. It was on guarding your heart.

Or rather, it was against guarding your heart.

You'll have to read it for yourself to understand the whole context of why Emily Maynard "stopped guarding [Her] heart ten years ago," but I have copied some quotes below that stuck out to me. Because, like her, I was an avid proponent of guarding my heart during my teens and early 20s (and perhaps still am?).

". . . I discovered that you can’t shut down part of your heart and not shut down all of it."
 
 "[The "Guard Your Heart" message] promises us that if we don’t have crushes, or at least don’t admit them, if we never say ‘I love you’ first, if we act detached until the last possible moment before commitment, if we just get married instead of dating, we’ll never have to experience heartbreak and we’ll be okay. It guarantees in a neat, repeatable phrase that we will be in control."
(Maybe this is why I think an arranged marriage would be fabulous?)

"The rules for “Guarding Your Heart” . . . . breed shame because we can’t live up to the ideal put for us: that we can be whole people while avoiding the potential for pain."

"If you really want to be in healthy relationships, stop “guarding” your heart and start using it. Walk through the mistakes you will inevitably make and learn from them. Find a community of people who are practicing vulnerability. Fill your heart full of the love that makes it come alive, full of grace, full of determination to walk with pain rather than around it, and you will be much better off than any heart that has been merely “guarded.”
 
I'm still figuring out what to make of all that.

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