145: but if You had come

The Bible lesson at school today was from Lazarus. And this is what I heard:

Mary and Martha sent to Jesus that their brother Lazarus was sick. They wanted Him to come heal Lazarus. But Jesus did not come. 

God had a bigger plan for Lazarus than healing him. God had a bigger plan than doing what Mary and Martha wanted.

So Jesus stayed away and let Lazarus die.

Did I hear that? Sometimes God has a bigger plan. Sometimes God says "no." Sometimes God is putting together an undeniable display of His glory.

I've been struggling the last few days with not getting something I wanted. It wasn't even something I thought God didn't want me to have.

So I say to the Lord, "I believe Your plan is good." And for the breath of a moment the skies clear and I can envision God doing His great work regardless of my recent hope and disappointment. For a moment I believe, and it is enough. Then the heavens close, and I repeat the words again. I do not feel the rapture of God's goodness, but now is the time to walk by faith, not by sight.

I believe Your ways are above my ways, and I believe in the goodness of You and Your plan.

I wonder if maybe these closed doors aren't the rude slamming in my face that they sometimes seem. Maybe they are more like God ensuring that I stay in His plan. I am moving forward like I ought, and He is making sure I don't unknowingly stray off His unknown path for me. His staff guiding me.

Your kingdom come. Your will be done.

Keep reminding myself. Keep believing. Keep looking heavenward.