162: solutions for the single blues this time of year

I don't know what it is about this time of year. Days before Thanksgiving it started. And not just for me. I was getting texts from others too, confirming that, yes, we were all kinda wishing that we had someone.

Maybe the magic of the season makes us extra sentimental. Maybe the family get-togethers make us more aware that we have no one to bring to the party. Maybe the cold weather makes us want to cozy in front of a fire next to someone wearing long-sleeved, buttoned-up, flannel plaid. Or thoughts of mistletoe and sleigh bells and walking in a winter wonderland are just getting to be a little much, even if you do live in a snow-less area, like I do.

Whatever the cause, it sorta creeps up on you in the cold days and early nights, and one doesn't know whether to jump on Christian Mingle or wait out the storm.

I think it depends.

God has given us desires to make us act. When we're hungry, we go get food. When we're exhausted, we sleep. All desires can be governed by self-control. I don't have to eat and sleep as soon as I'm hungry or tired, but if I had no desire for these things I would have no impetus to act (unless I just knew it was good for me to do so and forced myself forward).

The same thing with this nudging, longing, wishing for someone. It could be a reminder to change something in your life: get out and be more social with single people, let your desire for marriage be known among the motherly types in your church, sign up for a dating site, send a FB friend request, pray a lot more for a spouse.

On the other hand, if you feel an abnormal longing, something that is coming out stronger than usual and more possessive of a present you do not have, the solution might be what I have detected often in my own life: spend more quality time with God. Because sometimes the lack in your spiritual life will show itself by eating at you for SOMETHING, SOMEONE to fill the gap. And in that case, the last thing we want to do as believers is trek out on our own to pursue a crush instead of filling up on the One who has and always will be with us.

"Like an apple tree among the trees of the woods,

So is my beloved among the sons."

Song of Solomon 2:3

Along with that, if you are happy with your life, it can help a little to remind yourself that you are satisfied, that you are happy, that God has blessed you. I sometimes catch myself wanting to become more desperate than I actually am.

my class is growing green beans!

On a less substantial note, I've found, in rare occasions, that a couple Hallmark movies back to back can be just the thing to warm the heart and produce a happy sigh so one can get back to normal life.

<3